Lesson learned

Yesterday one of my kids made a pretty big mistake! I was mad. I yelled and screamed as I hurriedly tried to clean up the mess that his choice had created. He sat in his room crying. I pretended not to notice. Once the situation was controlled, I walked past his room again. This time I noticed. I noticed this small, sweet little boy sobbing. Was he upset because he was in trouble? I knew that wasn't it. I hurt him. Yes, he made a mistake and he needed to be held accountable. But did I need to react the way I did? Nope.

 I directed my older kids to finish up for me and I went and sat next to my broken, little boy. With tears rolling down my cheeks I told him how sorry I was for the way I acted. He apologized for making me so mad. My heart broke even more! I had, placed in front of me, an incredible teaching opportunity. I could teach him how to handle the effects of a mistake. Instead, I had him scared and alone and feeling unloved. And it wasn't okay.

 We all make mistakes. And the one he made wasn't that big of a deal. I had to come to the realization of what I wanted him to learn from his mistakes. After offering a silent prayer, I told him that we all make choices. Every day we make thousands of choices. We can control what we choose to do. We can't, however, choose the consequences of our choices. Some consequences are minor and don't seem to matter. But some consequences matter. They can be hard. They can hurt people. They can be expensive. Whatever the consequence may be, we have to accept it because we made the choice. I have no idea if my 6-year-old really understood what I was trying so desperately to explain. One thing I know for sure is that when my kids do make a mistake, because we all know they will make plenty, I want them to take responsibility for their mistake. I want them to own it. I want them to learn from it. And I want them to remember that they are never alone. I pointed out to this little boy how quickly everyone in the house came running to help. We all wanted to make the situation better for him. We couldn't change the outcome but we can help lessen the blow. That's what families should do.

So yesterday was a tough day. But we made it through just fine! I'm hoping today we all make better choices!