I've been feeling guilty lately. I really feel like I have been using the phrases "because the babies are_________" or "it's too hard with the babies" way too much! For example:
Austin: "Can we go to the pool?"
Me: "No. It's too hard with the babies."
Collin: "Let's go to the park."
Me: "No. It's just too hard with the babies."
Austin: "Can I look for one more book?"
Me: "No. The babies are getting fussy."
The other day Austin asked if we could do something and before I even responded he said "Oh right. We can't. Because of the babies."
I feel horrible! I really thought once the twins became more independent things would get easier. But it hasn't. It's gotten harder! A lot harder! I feel like a terrible mom because I can't seem to handle things on my own. The only time we can do anything "fun" is if someone comes with us to help me out. And, of course, I don't like asking for help so that means we spend most of our time at home! Twins are a challenge. Anyone who has twins could tell you that. But twins when you have two (or more) older kids is an even greater challenge. I just don't want Austin and Collin to be resentful towards the twins. And I think this is a pretty valid fear because I find myself feeling resentful sometimes.
So, there you have it. My sob story. I feel like the worse mom ever. If anyone has some suggestions on how to make outings a little easier, please let me know. Maybe then I can get rid of some of this guilt!
5 comments:
I don't have any advice because I do the same thing to my kids and I only have one "baby" to blame it on! But, I think you do a GREAT job with your boys and I am always impressed with all the fun and creative things you do and how patient you are with them.
I am so sorry that I do not have any advice. I wish that there was something I could suggest. Love Ya and you are doing a great job so do not feel guilty.
you are amazing! I totally get the idea that I don't wish for twins like I did as a kid!
This is Maria's sister-in-law, she said I should check out your post. My twins were born exactly one year before yours, and I have another boy who is 3.5 years older. And yes, I think he missed out on a lot because of the babies. When they are little, they do take up a lot of your time. There is a lot you can't do when they are on a schedule, when they need naps, etc. But it would be the same schedule-wise with just one baby. It's really hard to take them places, yes. But with a double stroller it's much easier, since the babies are contained :) I'm not sure I have a whole lot of advice, because my life is a lot like yours right now - but really with a stroller it's easier to get out for short times. I'd say keep it to short activities, and yes, a pool or something is hard. I go to parks that are little-used so I can keep track of them, and parks where the playground is off the road a ways. Last summer when they turned two it was hard at parks, this year is much easier, although I still go to non-crowded parks. I'd say as much as you can try to work with your husband (or trade with a friend) for one of you to take the older boys on an outing, and leave the twins at home. I know, that breaks up family time, but there are just some outings not meant for two toddlers, but you don't want your older boys to think they can't ever do anything they think is fun. Like I said, I'm not sure it's much help, but hang in there - they will get older, and I think it will get easier - and it really is so much fun to have two at once! It's just a balancing act, for sure.
THANK YOU CATHY!! I love hearing from someone who understands!! I love the idea of just taking the older boys out. I hadn't ever thought of that, but I think we will try it! You rock!!
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