Yesterday I mentioned something about Austin on Facebook. We had had a rough morning and he did something that really hurt my feelings. I have been worried about him a lot lately. It seems like the start of 3rd grade was the end of "childhood" for him. In all of my worry, I have realized that it is by divine design that our church baptizes at the age of 8. It truly is the age of accountability. He know right from wrong. But I can't help but wonder if we prepared him well enough for those "gray" areas. You know....what is the right way to handle when your little brother is being teased by someone?! How do you teach that? I want him to stand up for his brother but is it better to walk away?
Life isn't cut and dry. It's complicated. What works in one situation may not work in another. And, more often than not, the right thing to do is also the hardest. I probably haven't been the best example of this lately. I have let something eat at me to the point of anger and indifference. When do you know when to let something go or when you should stand up for what is right? When do you stop "being the bigger person" and start being the doormat? In this case, I still wonder what the right thing is...
So I guess when Austin does something that he knows isn't right, I can't help but blame myself. Not that I am absolving him of his responsibilities and the consequences of his actions, I just don't think he understands why I expect him to behave a certain way when I don't. How can I tell him to walk away and be the bigger person when I can't do it either?
He is a good kid. The "issues" we are having with him are pretty minor compared to what it could be. I want him to be the best person he can be and I am not sure how to encourage that. Which leads me back to the "gray" area. How do you prepare you kids to deal with it? How do you teach them that every circumstance that they come across is unique and requires a different action every time?
5 comments:
I like this post Beth. It is hard to teach our children, and ourselves, what is "right" in every situation. I try to teach the kids to think about the consequences of their actions and that behind everything there will be a consequence. I figure if I can live with the consequences then it's OK, the hard part is to think ahead when the moment comes.
Like you said, it's tough. We can only teach our children the best we can and continue to try to better ourselves all at the same time to be a good example for them. Then, we pray. A lot. Hang in there! You're doing great!
Man, i wish things were always just in black and white. Welcome to my life here at BYU-I- its crazy when people of your same belief are doing things that aren't right- it kinda mixes up your own judgement a little bit. But i guess gray areas are there for expiriences. Austin will learn from them and from there on he wont ever make that one mistake again. Miss those kids!
You are doing a great job raising your boys! I can't tell u I know what u are going through or how to do it since I do t have kids, but waned u to know that I think u an Travis are great parents and teach your boys the best you can! Love ya!
All you can do is your best. No one is perfect. We just do the very best we can.
On a side note, I have told my boys to stand up for the little guy. Whether it is their little brother or someone at school being picked on. They know that they will not get in trouble with me for standing up for someone.Fighting to be mean is one thing, but standing up for & protecting someone is another. That is just my 2 cents! (:
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